An Eventful Week

The last week has been filled with the awesome, wonderful news of my visa application being approved and the awful, terrible news of a friend passing away. There have been encouraging conversations of genuine excitement for my upcoming journey along with hours of conversation with my best friend as we process through our friend's death. It has been an emotionally exhausting week, but I know this is preparation for my time in Kolkata where crisis is a normal part of daily life. I am grateful to have people who love me through the tough stuff.

This weekend I spent time in Tucson visiting a church that was on my team at camp this summer. It was a gift to visit a group of people who spoke words of truth and encouragement. During their week at camp this summer, they prayed for my journey and were genuinely excited for me to pursue God's leading in my life. I love how camp connects people who love God and encourage others to passionately pursue Him. A few weeks ago, I visited a church in San Diego and it was this youth pastor that spoke truth at camp and encouraged me to go where my heart was which at this point in Kolkata. It was good to sit and share how his words helped push me towards returning to a place I love. I am so grateful for the community camp has provided and new friends who encourage and point me towards the cross. My time visiting churches is refreshing, life-giving and a gift as I prepare for departure.

I leave in less than two weeks! Pieces are starting to fall into place. I am starting to say my goodbyes. I am getting my fill of In-N-Out, good Mexican food, donuts and lattes. I am taking time to sit with friends sharing hopes and fears of my journey to India. I am thankful for those who ask questions and are willing to listen. I am looking forward to sharing stories along the way.

I am almost half way to my financial support goal. If you would like to partner with my financially click here and select "Team India" from the drop down menu. All donations are tax deductible. 

Taking time to Celebrate

One thing I love about Sari Bari is celebrating freedom birthdays. It is a time set aside to celebrate the anniversary of their first steps on the path to freedom. It is a break from work to recognize the women that have chosen to continue on the difficult path of freedom. It is a time to recognize they are not on that path alone. This taught me the importance of taking time to celebrate the people around us. Often times, I forget to take time to celebrate simple things like birthdays or new jobs because other things come up. We live in a culture of busyness where we go from one place to the next without really thinking because we live life on auto pilot. I notice this in my own life when I hesitate to RSVP to a party because I think something better or more important will come up.

This weekend I had the privilege to celebrate a friend's birthday the entire weekend. Friday night was a celebration with friends we worked with at camp. Saturday night was friends we grew up with at church. Sunday night was new friends from church. Each night brought fun and excitement. I love people watching which is even more fun around a table of people who know and love each other. I loved watching faces light up as another friend showed up to join the celebration. There was lots of laughter as we remembered the craziness of camp. There was joy in friends sharing new opportunities they have been giving. There was encouragement given as people shared the struggles of ministry or the uncertainty that accompanies graduation. Celebrations bring people together not only to acknowledge one person but in order to reconnect to community.

I am looking forward to celebrating many freedom birthdays as well as Christmas with the Sari Bari ladies. There will be a lot of dancing, more food than my stomach can hold and so much laughter. These are the sweet moments I look forward to as I prepare my heart to go back to Kolkata. I look forward to sharing these moments with you though my blog. Please continue to pray for me as my departure date approaches and there is so much to get done. Also if you would like to partner with me financially, click here and select "Team India" from the drop down menu. All donations are tax deductible.

One Month and a Growing To Do List

If all goes according to plan, I will board a plane bound for Kolkata 1 month from today. I have a ticket book. My visa is being processed. I am starting a packing list. I am heading back to a place and people I love. I cherish conversations with friends over coffee or a meal as they ask how I am feeling as the departure date approaches. I get to share sweet memories of tea time with the ladies at Sari Bari. I share the memories of laughter and mini dance parties as the women complete beautiful products that carry their name as a sign of hope. Along with the good memories, I share the bad memories of being viewed as an object for men to touch and grab as I travel through the city. I share how my heart breaks for the thousands of women stuck in the sex trade. I share the memories of the faces I pass on the streets just hoping someone will acknowledge their humanity.

God has given me the gift of a community that loves me well. I am so grateful for friends who are willing to sit and ask the hard questions. Many times, they just sit and listen. They listen to my excitement and my fears. Sometimes, we just sit in silence and it is in the silence that they allow me to process. They carve time out of their busy schedules to be present. Being present shows that I am valued, loved, important. I am choosing to go and be present at Sari Bari. I pray for the women. I pray for the ministry being done. I pray for the people who devote their life to serving in Kolkata. There is something special about getting to see first hand what God is doing instead of reading it in a blog or an email. I want to see first hand the way God is working and moving in these broken areas. I am choosing to walk through an open door.

As I take a step out in faith, I am asking you to join me. Kolkata is a hard city to do life in as a single female so the first way to partner with me is through prayer. I ask for prayer as I continue planning and preparing my heart to return to Sari Bari. I ask for prayer for my family as they prepare to send me off. I ask for prayer for the community I will be joining in Kolkata and the ladies at Sari Bari. The second way you can partner with me is financially. I will be raising financial support for my time in Kolkata so I will be able to wholly give my energy and effort to Sari Bari. After months of praying about returning to Kolkata, God has opened doors to return in 4 short weeks. I ask you to pray and consider partnering with me financial if you are able. The total cost of my time in Kolkata is about $6000 which includes airfare and living expenses. If you would like to partner with me financially, you can donate online by clicking here and selecting "Team India" from the drop down menu.

I thank you for your prayers and support as I follow God's leading in this next season of life. Feel free to send me an email if you would like to grab coffee and chat.  

The Path that Leads to Kolkata

I love that God has allowed travel to be a huge part of my story. Friends often ask where my next trip will take me or when I am leaving again. A year ago, I was dreaming and preparing for life in Lima and then things changed. This left me broken and confused. It took me a few months to realize that God had a different plan for my life this year. I was able to lead a small group of high school girls and continue serving in the youth group. I was able to visit my brothers and see my nephew take his first steps. I was able to work another summer at camp and serve alongside some amazing people while serving churches. I learned to find joy in the little things. I learned a posture of openhandedness where I didn't cling to plans that I made and instead held my hands open for whatever came my way.

I have been praying about returning to Kolkata for several months and God has opened doors for me to return. I will be working with Sari Bari which provides employment for women exploited by the sex trade or are vulnerable to sex trafficking. I worked with Sari Bari in 2011 and fell in love with the women that found freedom with Sari Bari. Kolkata is a city filled with chaos, but among the chaos, Sari Bari is filled with peace and hope. (Read more about Sari Bari here.)

I am excited to embark on this journey that started three years ago and be able to invest in women that I already love. I will be able to use my gifts and talents to teach conversational English to the managers as well as helping with administrative for the business. I am hoping to leave October 19 which is less than 6 weeks away. I would appreciate your prayers as I apply for my visa and begin preparing to serve among the women at Sari Bari.

I will be raising support for my time in Kolkata. I have committed to spending six months which means I need around $6000 to cover airfare, visa, living expenses while in Kolkata. I have partnered with Grace Church of Glendora to raise support so if you would like to partner with me financially please send checks (DO NOT WRITE MY NAME ON THE CHECK) to:

Grace Church Glendora

C/O Team India

1515 S. Glendora Ave. 

Glendora, CA 91740

Please include a slip of paper with "Natalie Cook Kolkata, India" to ensure it is allocated to my support account. If you have any questions about my trip or would like to hear more, feel free to shoot me an email at nataliecook15@gmail.com. 

"What are you so happy about?!?!?"

Today I spend the morning with a good friend eating gluten free pancakes, drinking chai tea lattes and strolling along the Dana Point Harbor. This friend has walked the path of disappointment, anger, sadness and joy of not going to Peru. It has been a path filled with high and lows and appreciate her willingness to sit and listen while asking questions that help me process life. Today we talked about the future. What does it look like to change career paths in our late 20s? Is debt wise to help find our vocation? How do we overcome the fear of past disappointments/rejections? Needless to say we did not walk away with new careers but instead walked away with a willingness to get into the game.

The last six months have been a roller coaster of emotions. Preparing to leave for Peru then having to make the hard decision to not go to Peru. The struggle of planning and preparing to leave my community then the joy of not having to leave. The pain I probably caused the community I was going to be part of in Lima was not something I am proud of, but God had a different plan for my life. I thought I was processing through this disappointment, but instead, I was holding on to the bitterness I felt towards God for not sending me to Peru. I realized the bitterness was making me gun shy to pursue anything else, especially missions opportunities. I wanted to be mad and disappointed. I wanted to be the victim. God let me pout, but He also brought people around me that could speak words through the bitterness to help me see God. I realized my bitterness/anger was only hurting myself and I was letting the fear of disappointment/rejection paralyze me from moving on. Once I let go, God opened my eyes to so many ways I can use my gifts and talents for His kingdom. He also helped me realize my heart is trafficking prevention which is not the focus of the ministry I was going to be working with in Lima. I want to bring hope into the Red Light Districts around the world in a way points to a loving God that wants to restore brokenness. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like yet, but I am getting back in the game by starting conversations about what that would look like for a white girl from Southern California. I am taking steps to find my vocation.

Today we walked to the harbor. As we walked back to our cars, a man who appeared to be homeless angrily asked/yelled "What are you so happy about?" as we crossed paths on the sidewalk. He did not wait for a response, but the question made me realize God has restored my joy in the little things. My heart is lighter and my laughter more genuine. Thanks random guy making me realize I have so much to be happy about and my joy is noticeable to others.

Joy is...

Sitting on a porch enjoying breakfast with a good friend.
Kids asking where I have been and why I have't been in their class lately.
Worshiping with high school students each Wednesday night.
Eating pizza with old friends and new.
Sitting and talking in my car till midnight knowing I have to teach in the morning.
Spontaneous trips to visit friends at school to talk about life.
Talking to my brother for an hour to hear about life in Georgia.
Going to 21 Choices/Dairy Queen because it is Wednesday/Sunday night.
Seeing pictures of my nephew and knowing I'll get to play with him in a week.
Watching my cousin get married which means our family is growing.
Seeing kids bust a move on the dance floor because they don't care who is watching.
Getting a letter in the mail from a friend.
Reading a blog that speaks the words I need to hear.

Knowing I am loved. 

It has been one of those weeks. I realized how broken my heart is that I will not be going to Peru in January. I have had the same conversation in different depths multiple times with people in passing or over coffee. Each time I have to tell someone I am not going. Plans changed. I am still here. It is hard to articulate in words about the frustration of not going with the excitement of seeing what God has for me in this next season. As for now, I look for the blessings and joy of doing life here with people I love. We are only guaranteed today so why not make the most of it.

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day."

Henri Nouwen

Sometimes it gets Messy

Life is messy. This is something we can all agree on. We are bombarded with images of pretty happy families that seem like they have come out of a Norman Rockwell painting. We see girls with perfect, blemish-free skin or guys with perfect physique. We see women with no wrinkles or men enjoying a round of golf with no bladder issues. It's almost as if these people have pretty plastic shells which keep any unpleasantness hidden from the world. It creates an unhealthy idea that we have to have our lives put together in a pretty package in order for others to accept us. The truth is I would much rather sit and talk with a friend about my messy life than try to keep all my mess concealed. I love talking over coffee for hours listening to friends talk about real life. Talking about things that really matter to them because they become things that matter to me.

In order to truly do life together, we have to be willing to get messy. We also have to be willing to share our mess with others.

It has taken me many years to to learn how to live life with other without being afraid of keeping my mess hidden. I learned there is freedom in transparency. I learned that people love me regardless of my mess. I learned to be honest.

God knows our hearts. God knows our messiness. God provides people who love us in our messiness.