choosing to be blind

from the very beginning of my work at mama t's, there has been one girl that everyone wants to work with and her name is mita. mita is blind because her eyes never fully developed (or at least that's what i have been told) but is usually one of the easier kids to work with. she knows when it is time to change her diaper and will cooperate in that process as much as she is able to and is generally easy to feed. it has become my job to take mita to class for the blind kids on fridays which is not her favorite thing to do but it is part of the routine for her. today she was in a very energetic mood and decided to stand up and start jumping with excitement. in this process, she began to fall forward at which point i needed to catch her. (she cannot stand on her own.) taylor was sitting right next to me and pointed out that she was trusting that my hands would be there to catch her. she is not able to see that there are hands there to catch her but she is trusting that someone or something will be there to catch her when she is falling. it made me realize that in many ways my ability to see things keeps me from trusting. i see my own insecurities and weaknesses and am hesitant to trust others with those things. i am hesitant to trust that God will provide the things i need for fear of Him letting me down. unlike mita i see all the ugly things in the world that make me hesitant to trust. what would it be like if i choose to be blind to the things of the world so that i could trust that God would catch me when i fall? in my last three weeks all i can do is trust that God will give me the words to say as the ladies ask me when i will come back. i will trust that God will guide my path as i start news things when i get home. i will trust that God will provide comfort and peace as i say goodbye to the community that He has given me in kolkata. i am trusting as i fall into the loving arms of God who will not let me fall.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 2 corinthians 5:6-8