Healthy Rhythms

One thing that I have always been terrible at is being still and staying quiet before the Lord. As I came back from camp, I realized that I am terrible at taking the time and space to process transitions. I usually just jump from one thing to the next because there is always something that needs to be done or someone that needs me to be somewhere. I was chatting with a friend about what introverted time means as an extrovert. I shared with him that I avoid introvert time because it is painful to be alone because I feel like I am wasting time, but he told me that introvert time is the best time to process things. I realized I don't process things well. I jump from one thing to the next without grieving losses or celebrating sweet moments. This week I have made it a point to sit outside by the pool each day to read or rest or think. I realize these are healthy rhythms that I need to learn before I get to Peru. It is taking the time to take care of me so that I can more effectively help others.

I took a mini vacation down to San Diego to visit a friend where she gave me time and space to verbally process through leaving camp as well as moving to Peru. There were sweet moments where we sat at her kitchen table and talked about the future and difficult moments as we sat on her couch as she wrote my will and power of attorney documents. We sat on the beach and talked about the plans she has for her future wedding while I shared my very real fear of missing out on marriage by moving to Peru. It is in these moments that I leaving becomes more real. Genesis 22 is the passage where God asks Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac and it has been given to me as a word of encouragement through different people. I see that moving to Peru involves some pretty big sacrifices, but if I am willing to trust that God will provide then the sacrifices are totally worth it. Jehovah Jireh. God will provide.

Genesis 22:13-14
And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.”