Today I took a good hard look at my pre-departure check off list. It is incredible how two sheets of paper can feel so overwhelming. There are fun things like writing a short bio and picking a picture to accompany it on the Word Made Flesh website but there are really heavy things like writing a will and assigning power of attorney in case something happens when I am in Peru. It is a reality check. Am I willing to risk everything, including myself, to follow where God is leading me? This is not the first time I have had this thought because I received this check list before I committed to going. There were multiple conversations I had over the summer where I talked through this with people that love me. A question on the emergency contact sheet asks what my wishes are for burial in or out of country which is honestly something I can say I have never thought of in the past. Do I want to force my parents to pay astronomical fees to ship my whole body back or be cremated so I can be put in someone's luggage for a return trip home? That was a fun conversation to have over dinner at Mongolian BBQ. I can't imagine being a missionary back in the day that packed all of their belongings in a coffin because they never expected to come back alive. I have the luxury of knowing I can hop on a plane and be back home in hours, but it doesn't make the reality of writing a will any less scary. I am trusting that God is calling me to serve among the most vulnerable in Lima and I pray that His will be done.
At camp we sang a song called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) by Hillsong and these lyrics remind me that God will carry me through these next 3 years.
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
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